Not everyone is born with hourglass proportions — but almost anyone can dress into them.
The hourglass is a body shape, yes — and those who have it naturally hit the genetic jackpot of proportional symmetry. But the principle behind it? That’s just geometry. Shoulders and hips reading at roughly equal width, with the waist sitting visibly narrower between them. Three elements in alignment. And every body type is a starting point — not a verdict. You’re always just one or two adjustments away from that alignment.
After last week's post — "These Styles Can — and Will — Ruin Your Figure" — I got tons of messages that all boiled down to the same question: Okay, so what SHOULD I wear?
Which — fair enough. That article was necessary. Someone had to say it. But tearing down without building up isn't really my style (pun intended), so consider this the other side of the coin.
I don't love delivering bad news — but it's part of the job, and honestly? This one might save you money. An image consultant doesn't just tell you what works. Sometimes you have to flag what doesn't, and today we're talking about the styles that flatter absolutely no one. They don't care about your gym routine, your body type, or how much you spent. They look mediocre on a size-zero model in controlled studio lighting — and they'll look worse on you. Not because anything is wrong with your body, but because the construction itself is working against every figure it touches. You're going to see these styles all over the stores this summer, looking adorable on hangers and mannequins....
Everyone is watching Love Story on Hulu right now. Which means everyone is also spiraling over Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy's wardrobe. Fair enough.
Here's the thing about CBK's style that most copycat guides miss: she wasn't doing anything complicated. No avant-garde silhouettes, no statement accessories stacked three deep, no trendy “it“ pieces that dated themselves within a season. What she was doing — with almost surgical consistency — was assembling the same handful of elements in slightly different configurations, and trusting the result completely.
It's March. The runways just finished their Glamoratti parade—shoulders out, metallics blazing, jewelry the size of small continents—and you're sitting there thinking: incredible. But also: absolutely not. Not like that. Here's the thing though. You're not wrong to want in. Glamoratti is one of the most genuinely exciting trends to land in years: louder than quiet luxury, more intentional than maximalism, and—this is the part the runway doesn't show you—more wearable than it looks when a six-foot model is doing it in studio lighting. The version you're about to see has been built for the real world. For actual spring. For March and April, for offices and dinners and that ambiguous social situation that's not quite casual and not quite...
